Unforgotten Love
by Sakura Sango
Summary: BK Botan is injured after a mission. A deadly toxin courses through her body that causes her dreams to be turned into nightmares. Can she live through this or will her spirit break. contains- torture, mental anguish, mentionings of rape
1. Prologue

Warnings- Yes there are warnings here... This story contains- torture, mental anguish (the best type), mentionings of rape I have rated this fic 'R' please honor this rating. I mean it.

XXX

**_Prologue_**

Botan sat on the old rickety wooden park bench gazing up at the night sky. The stars were shining with all of their glory making the sky an impressive dot to dot board. So far she had made a cat, book, a pacifier, and Kurama's face.

A gentle warm breeze ruffled the long blue hair causing some of it to fall upon her beautiful face. Absentmindedly she swept them away from her eyes hardly noticing when they fell back.

Her mind was on other things. Such as love. How she wished she knew what it felt like. Many nights she had laid in bed wondering and wishing that she felt the way Keiko did with Yusuke. Well, not when she was pounding him into the ground, but the other times.

To Botan Valentine's Day was just another day. How many times had she cried on the last Valentine's Day watching couples give their sweethearts candy, flowers, or puppies.

Envy had filled her beautiful pink eyes as she watched a young girl, probably sixteen, hug her love after having received a red heart box that was filled with chocolates.

Oh how she envied Keiko. Not because she had Yusuke but because she seemed as though she did not know how lucky she truly was. Botan had yet to feel the joys of love.

How foreign that word sounded to her. 'Love' was an elusive mayflower. Maybe it would be something she would never catch. Something that she would never get to feel.

But she did want to feel it. Botan wanted to desperately feel the love that Keiko talked about when they went shopping together. She wanted to know what it was like to receive flowers just because.

All the times that she transported souls of youngsters she would listen jealously as they told about their loves. It broke her heart to hear about how they would be missed so dearly. Often on days that she was alone she had wondered would she be missed as badly? Would anyone care if she never returned?

Sighing she lowered her head from the stars above. The sign that was used by poets and storytellers when they talked about love. How it hurt her to not feel such a thing.

Tired of feeling depressed Botan stood giving a slight stretch. Holding out her right hand she summoned her oar. Maybe a wild flight would wake her from her depression.

Or maybe the only answer for her depression was love. True love. Love like Yusuke and Keiko, Kuwabara and Yukina.

Looking up at the stars Botan's eyes scanned the sky. Smiling she quickly closed her eyes. She had found her target, a shooting star. Her star for no one else was here to make a wish upon it. Looking deep within her heart she made a quick wish.

Maybe it would come true some time. Maybe she would find her true love.

XXX

Sitting at the foot of his bed a red headed boy stared out of his window. Sleep was elusive tonight as his head raced. Thoughts raced through his head as he stared ahead.

Today he had almost died in battle. If it had not been for his friends he would not have been sitting here now. But instead he would have been in a morgue cold and stiff.

There was something about staring death in the eyes that made it kind of hard to sleep afterwards. Or at least it did to Kurama. He had so many that he cared for. What if he were to die? Would they know how much he loved them or would the continue on never knowing?

Kurama lowered his head and closed forest green eyes. He was so tired yet unable to sleep. Oh how this human life had weakened him. Before he could face death head on twenty times and still get a good night's sleep.

Smiling slightly he shook his head. Maybe he was just getting to old for this. Silently he wondered what Koenma would say. Well after throwing a fit and threatening to banish him to the Rekai jails for the rest of his natural and demonic lives.

What would Hiei say. That was an easy one to answer, a simple curt "Hn, baka fox." The same thing he always told Kurama.

Opening his eyes tiny slits he thought hard. Why was it that he stayed as a detective. His probation was up. No longer was he bound to Koenma. He was free to live his life as normal as possible. Yet he still came running whenever there was trouble.

Why was it?

Was there something holding him back? If so what was it.

Squeezing his eyes shut he thought hard. He emptied his mind and thought about what kept him from leaving.

All he could see was a blue haired girl. With a bubbly personality and a love for life.

Was that it? Was that what kept him from leaving?

XXX

Ok so how was this for a beginning.

Now before you all go "Awwww a love fic...blah, blah..." You should know I don't just write love fics. With me if its gonna have love in it there's gonna be some angst. And this is no different. I mean look at the warnings above. -points to the top- Does that seem like a love fic?! Yes love's gonna be a big part **_but _**if you do not like angst then please either read but don't flame or leave.

I have this story completely (er...almost completely written) so there shouldn't be too long of times in between updates.

Please read and review...


	2. Chapter 1

Thank you so much for all of the reviews. I really appreciate it a lot. Sorry about the shortness of the last chapter but this one will be longer.

NOTE:: Hey guys there's a writer who is really good and is starting out a new fic- feel free to read it- It's **A Wolf's Cry Is Still Beautiful **By Hieisbestbuddy888. Check it out for it is really really good.

**Disclaimer-**I own a scar on my knee.

XXX

Botan's tiny figure squeezed through the tight cluster of greenery. Twice already she had gotten her pale blue hair tangled within the twigs. Both times Kuwabara had come forward, the perfect example of chivalry gone wrong. For he believed that hacking the branches away with his spirit sword would help solve the problem. Now on the back of Botan's head, lying just under her ponytail was a bare spot, from where the sword had missed. All she wanted now was to just leave. Leave this horrid place and never look back. Forget this important mission to slay a murderous demon. After all the more he killed the better job security she had.

Seeing a hill in the distance, Botan ran. Maybe if luck was on her side she could find a clearing. A clearing from all of the plants, darkness and the strange noises.

For a week now they had been stuck in this horrid place. A place where even sunlight was too afraid to show itself. Tall ominous trees stood stretching their arms out trying their best to block all of the sunlight.

Was there even a sky? The fighters could not tell by looking up. Pale skin and dull eyes ached for natural light. Light that did not come from a demonically grown plants. Light that would tan their flesh and make them want to shed the layers of clothes.

How cold and dead it was in the dark forest. Cold winds would blow suddenly, reminding Botan of the scary movies that Keiko would watch on Halloween. Another wind came by forcing a blue coat to be wrapped tighter around. Dead twigs and bones littered the ground that they walked upon. What the bones were of could only be left to their imaginations.

To make matters worse, beings rustled in the treetops above. Sometimes deep crimson eyes would glow from under a bush sending shivers up spines. Who was watching them? Was it a harmless rabbit or was it a demon hoping for an appetizer before its meal.

Botan was tired of it all. All she wanted now was a hot bath and a hot cup of tea. '_And someone to be with one the cold dark nights._' Yes, even out here in the wilds, thoughts of the elusive emotion called love still did not leave her mind or sadly her dreams.

Reaching the top of the hill, or was it a mountain, Botan fell to her knees.

'_NO!!_' Tears brimmed her beautiful, innocent eyes.

There was no clearing ahead. Just more trees. There were flowing rows of trees ahead no sign of them letting up.

Burying her face within her muddy hands Botan wept silently. Why had she agreed to come with them.

_/Flashback/_

_"Botan I have an important mission for Yusuke and the gang. Grab them immediately!" Koenma shouted while stamping yet another paper that resided on his desk. To his left was an enormous stack waiting patiently for their official seal. _

_With a quick salute and nod of the head Botan had ran out of the office to gather four sour teens. 'No,' Botan thought shaking her head while riding on her oar, 'two sour teens, one sour demon and one joyous teen.' Yes Kurama was never in a sour mood. He was always ready to help out. A light blush came to Botan's face as she thought about the red head. About his long soft hair, his graceful moves, his sweet voice, the gentle touch that he had on wounds. There was not one rough part on him. Even his Youko was soft and gentle._

_Blushing lightly Botan lowered her head praying that no one would notice her reddened cheeks._

_A hour later Botan returned with singed blue hair and scowling slightly at the demon behind her. Right behind her walked a smirking fire demon, pleased with his masterpiece. After all he had warned the pesky ferry girl about doing one more back flip on her oar. Amazingly she had not done one more stunt after the receiving crisp ends. Actually the rest of their ride was quite peaceful._

_"Here they are Koenma." Botan said, one for stating the obvious, while taking a place in the back of the room. Her checks still flushed with embarrassment from earlier that day. Those vivid thoughts were still visible when she closed her eyes._

_As if on cue, one of 'those thoughts' jumped out begging to be seen again. Blushing madly she turned facing the corner. Why did these thoughts come so strong? She always had control of them before so why not now. _

_In the background of her hurried thoughts she could faintly hear Koenma telling about the mission. She already knew a lot about it though. After all she was the one that was carrying all of the recently departed thanks to him. Already she had taken four young children and two teenagers. God only knew how many demons were being slaughtered. Maybe she would ask Cera. Cera was the ones who took the demon souls to their final resting place._

_Looking over she could see the boys nod. Apparently they had been briefed and had agreed to save the tiny ruler's butt once again. That's all they seemed to do anymore. If he was not her boss she would probably join Yusuke and the others in ridiculing him._

_Sighing she followed the group of boys. Koenma had already told her that she was to follow them on their mission, should they need her healing powers._

_/End of Flashback/_

The thick green whip fell with a slight thump behind the red headed boy. Knees bent, head down all the signs of exhaustion. All that were shown by Kurama.

But he was not only one. Yusuke was on the ground gasping for air. Kuwabara had found a job in holding up the tree that he rested against. Even Hiei, the unbeatable fire demon, was having trouble holding himself up.

The orange haired demon stood erect staring at the spirit detectives, or what was left of them. Grinning a cold grin he raised to his mouth a long silver tube. Now he would finish the task.

Taking a deep breath he pointed the tube and blew. A shrill whistle was heard as a small metal object flew through the air. It flew closer and closer. Almost to its intended target, a red headed teen. The same red head that was now trying to get off of his knees. The same one that did not see the object coming after him.

Beautiful amethyst eyes widened in fear as they watched the object fly. There was no time to shout. Fear started to build within them. Even Hiei would not be able to stop the anticipated contact.

Breath caught within her beautiful chest. Lungs began to ache and beg for air. Oh how they begged for the fresh forest air. But the rest of her would not respond to the call.

Legs began running, picking up speed. More speed then what was ever possible of a deity let alone a demon. Botan ran break neck speeds pushing her body past the limit.

None of this seemed to matter. All that ran through her mind was how she could not let Kurama be hurt. Deep within her heart Botan knew that she had would rather take a thousand bullets then see him hurt.

Arms stretched out as far as they could go. Reaching far out in front of her. Botan was inches away from the back. The back of the one she wanted to protect. Even if it meant that her life was to end.

Bending her knees the young girl jumped forward. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a tiny glint from the shrapnel. Biting her lower lip Botan closed her big beautiful eyes. Already she could tell what was going to happen. Any fool could tell.

"_Botan!_" echoed within the forest, bouncing off trees.

The slender body fell lifelessly to the ground, blue hair fanning out as she fell. A tiny metal spike stood out from the side of her neck. A thin rivulet of blood seeped from the wound tickling her pale neck. Blue hair lightly covered the pale face like a veil.

"Botan. Botan can you hear me?" Forest green eyes worriedly looked at the metal spike. Already he had a pretty good idea what it was. After all Youko had been both on the receiving and giving ends of them. More then once he had snuffed out a life in its prime.

Gently shaking the deity once again Kurama tried to get an answer form her. Behind him he could hear the vile creature being killed. Never before did such a sound give the fox such pleasure.

For a third time he tried to get an answer. '_Please no! Don't let her die. Please don't do this to me. Not again. I can't go through this yet again._' Gentle tears fell freely from his eyes. Kurama already knew that he could not- no he would not watch another friend die.

A raven haired boy stared, disbelief filled his eyes. It almost seemed impossible that Botan could be lying here. Crimson eyes traveled to the man that now held her. Especially when 'he' was the target. The target of the demon's wrath.

Amethyst eyes gently opened a far off look upon them. Almost as if she did not see the four boys before her. Though the others were disappointed at this; Kurama knew that Botan was safe. At least for the moment.

Once. Twice. Thrice her breath faltered. Breaths became more labored and sporadic. Each minute that ticked away brought the girl closer to death's door. The same 'death' that threatened to steal her precious soul.

But what could they do? It had taken them a week to get this far. Even if they ran it still would take about five days. Four if they did not sleep. Even that would be too long. Botan only had a day at the most to live. Kurama had to get out of the Makai, and back to the herbs that would save her life.

"Yusuke we have to get her out of here before the end of the day. This poison will kill the infected person within 24 hours if it is not removed." Kurama looked, almost pleadingly, for help.

Everyone stood around silently. How could they get her out of this horrid place before the end of the deadline. Would they lose a dear friend?

XXX

So how was the first real chapter? Feel free to tell me how you really feel. So that means to go ahead and flame if ya feel like it.

I know Botan's a little ooc (out of character), but just hang on and you'll see why.


	3. Chapter 2

Thank you everyone that reviewed.

Thank you to **_blasphemous-moose, Cristina Gomez, Lady of Roses_**.

On with the next chapter.

_Note_: /_words in here are dreams/_, '_these are thoughts_' Ok is everyone clear? Hope so, if you are at all confused please feel free to ask

Note: (yes there's two today) Ok before you scream Mary-Sue and run away screaming please understand that this is not a Mary-sue fic, characters may pop in and out but that's it. They are not staying for long and have only minor roles.

**Disclaimer:**

X-X-X-

Kurama stared at the amethyst eyes. The gaze that they held was slowly becoming more and more distant. No longer did she stare at those before her. Neither did she acknowledge that they stood next to her.

Yusuke, the first to snap out of the trance, fished through his pockets. "Shit," he muttered, "where the hell is it?" The search became frenzied as his efforts remained futile. After a few more long, agonizing minutes he smiled and pulled out the small silver compact.

Flipping open the top Yusuke fiddled with the buttons. "Damn!" He shouted after only receiving static. "Work ya piece of crap. Work before I spirit gun ya." In a fit of anger he slammed it against the trunk of a tree.

Botan shivered violently as the cold overtook her. Her rosy lips now had a light blue tinge to them as yet another breath caught within her beautiful chest. No longer could she see the dark and dreary scenery before her. All she saw now were shadows.

Even the sounds were becoming more and more distant. Yusuke's persistent string of curses, Hiei's disapproving grunts towards the detective were no longer perceived, and Kuwabara'sstifled gasps fell upon deaf ears.

But even worse then that, Botan couldno longer hear Kurama' sweet and sultry voice, and how that hurt her. Botan had always dreamed of the last words she would hear would come from the handsome boy that now held her in his arms.

A horrible ache pulsed throughout her body sending Botan into one last convulsion. Then her body remained deathly still.

"Damn!" Yusuke shouted as he pocketed the communicator once again. "I can't get any reception out here. Too many damn trees and too far away from anyone else." Yusuke's glance fell upon their fallen friend, the only non fighter in the group. "How is she,Kurama?"

Silence. Such pitiful silence ran supreme as Kurama tried to control his voice. He had to be the one in control, the strong one for he knew that they were just entering the black gates of hell.

"She has a strong spirit. That's all that has kept her from dying. But she will not last much longer." Gold pulsed within the forest green orbs as he stared into the chocolate eyes of Yusuke. "We have to get her out of here now!"

"Damn. Just once why can't a case go right?" Yusuke's eyes closed tightly as he thought. There was no way that he could let a friend die out here like this, no matter how annoying they may be.

Seconds stretched out feeling more like an eternity before Yusuke opened his eyes again. "We have to carry her out of here. To somewhere where we can call for help."

Kurama mentally kicked himself for not thinking of that himself. He was after all the brains of the group. But it seemed that as soon as Botan's life became endangered he was not able to think any more. Angered at his lack of reasoning, Kurama slowly picked up the tiny girl careful to not jar her head around.

Rivulets of red fell from the tiny injury on her neck as the fox cradled Botan. He carefully maneuvered her so that the petite head was in the nook of his arm while her legs bent sharply at the knees.

Blood fell from the corner of Kurama's mouth as he bit on his lip. For he knew that every jar would cause more poison to flow into the deity's blood stream. Right now the very blood that coursed throughout the blue haired's body was tainted. The very heart that beat near his chest and the lungs that desperately tried to keep the very breath going were now infected.

"Please stay strong. You cannot die here, like this. Just live for a little while longer, please. Keep your soul and spirit strong. And remember- no matter what we all are your friends." Kurama pleaded to the suffering deity, a tear fell onto her lid, splashing slightly.

Botan moaned lightly as Kurama picked up speed following the racing fire demon.

/_The beautiful sun above sent down warm peaceful rays upon the tiny blue haired girl whom soaked them in eagerly. An ear twitched at the sounds that she heard. Far off she could hear a bush rustle, tiny feet scamper, the bubbling of a small stream._

_Moaning slightly the slender figure held a hand tenderly to her head. She had a splitting headache and the sun's brightness was not helping. How she silently wished that it would disappear._

"_Wha-" throwing herself upright quickly Botan glanced around. "What the- where is the darkness, the trees. Oh," Another dreadful moan escaped the beautiful red lips as all the blood sloshed around in her head. _

_Dizzily the girl slowly rose till she was standing. Now she was thoroughly confused. 'Where the heck am I?' This was not the place that same forest that she had just been in._

"_Think Botan think!" Lightly she rapped on her head hoping to shake loose the scrambled thoughts, hopefully the ones that would explain why she was here, and alone. _

_Memories flowed as Botan looked around. They were in the dark forest with chilled winds that blew. Then..._

_Then what?_

_What happened next?_

_Botan glanced at a bush that shook lightly, she was certain that she had seen that before. But where? _

_A demon had jumped out at them,Kurama's name being shouted, and something hitting her._

_Gasping Botan threw a hand to her neck. Now she remembered that demon tried to attack Kurama but she pushed him out of the way and was hit instead. Was she dead? But this did not look like any part ofSpirit World that she knew of. Where was the palace, and the fires of hell, and the gates of paradise and the lonely path to purgatory?_

_"Maybe I should really stop acting without thinking." So far it had earned her a broken back, being captured many times and now this._

_Sighing Botan did the only thing she could do. She walked; maybe something would jog her memory or tell her where she was._ /

Kurama skidded to a stop and held his breath. Before him, an inch from his right eye was a sharp pointed wooden spear. This forest apparently did not want the Detectives to leave its presence so soon. So far five trees had fallen in their path- one of them landing on Kuwabara hindering his speed considerably, and now this.

Throwing back a glance at the limping carrot top he sighed. Kuwabara was trying- he truly was but his injury was slowing them all.

Yusuke and Hiei tried to help the struggling teen but to no avail. Nothing was going to move the carrot top any faster.

_'I'm letting them all down!' _Kuwabara thought as he glanced back at his lame leg. As soon as that giant timber had landed on his leg, he was afraid that the tree had smashed his ankle. But any uncertainty was now answered as he stared at his purple ankle. No longer was he able toput any weight upon his foot. Runs now were sloppy hops as he tried desperately to keep up.So deep in his thoughts Kuwabara did not see the tiny root shoot from the ground snatching his good leg.Kuwabara's chin connected with theground hard. "Ugh." Blood flew from his clenched teeth as he grabbed his knee.

/_Botan moved through the dirt path amazed at how green everything was. It was more beautiful then a dream. Nothing could spoil this, Botan was certain. Despite her situation the blue-haired deity could not help but to smile. This was what she had always dreamed of on lonely nights alone. But in her dreams she was always with a special someone. _

_Still her spirits were high, perhaps her special someone was somewhere nearby. All she had to do was keep searching. Smiling brightly she continued on her search for anyone. _

_As she passed a thick bush with tiny red berries growing on it,two golden eyes peered from underneath. Here was his next prey, and how innocent she was too. He could almost smell the waves of innocence as they surged from her body. The dark figure licked his lips; innocence was what he liked the most. A lust filled grin spread across his face as he stared at the 'thing' before him. A gift that the gods gave to him._ /

Kurama held the deity tight as they ran through the forest. With a slightly bobbing head the ashen facial features of Botan relaxed slightly.

X-X-X-

Uh so how was it?

Poor Botan doesn't even know how bad she's going to have it. Leave your comment please.


	4. Chapter 3

Hey guys I was lookin over my thank you to the reviewers and disclaimer and realized that most of it was missin. Sorry guys- I can't tell if it was my computer that did it or so I'll make it up to u guys.

_**Reviewers (I'm goin to thank every one who's reviewed because of the mess up)**_

**_Kuramasfox- _**Thank you so much for the review, I'm glad that you like the fic so far. ::blushes:: No I don't think I'm that good to actually get published. But thank you so very much for reviewing. I hope you like this chapter too.

**_ebil kitten of doom_**- Thank you for the review! Here's the next chapter

**_Lady of Roses- _**Yep your right- first it's the spirit detectives then Botan, and so on. Hmm I wonder if they were Youko's eyes??? Let me say that poor Botan doesn't know how horrible life is going to get. ::evil grin:: Thank you so much for the review, I hope you like this chapter.

**_Bunny- _**Thank you for the review. I love angst too!! My best type to write.

**_Chichiro Ketsueki- _**Thank you so much for the review. I'm glad you liked! Yeah you sure are creative with the reviews.

**_Anichan- _**Thank you for the review. Here's the update… Glad you liked.

**_Hieisbestbuddy888-_** Thank you so much for the review. Here's the update

Also thank you to these past reviewers too- **_blasphemous-moose, cheraichan, AnneMarieh, Chrissy E E, kuramalover21, Liz, pink Mu, Kitsune-0503, crescentmoon-cat_**

**_Disclaimer:: _**(this may contain a gross factor- dependin on how weak stomach you are) I found out in my bio class that with prepared brains the cerebellum looks just like a turkey breast that is about to be sliced. I saw that in class and the first thing I thought of was lunch.

**_A/N:: _**Ok I'm going to say it now. An online friend (who shall stay nameless) here said that her fic was deleted because it exceeded her rating level. So please if my fic starts to do that- just let me know in an email or review and I will clean it up (since I cannot go any higher). Ok?

**_A/N::_** One last one- I'm sorry if this chapter sucks, it's kinda a filler one- a prelude to the horror that is too come- crappy I know- I cringed the whole time writin it…

x-x

The bright sunlight poked it's unrelenting rays through the tree limbs warming the boy's skin and blinding their weak eyes. Kurama, laden with the weight of another person, fell to the hard rocky ground, his knees slamming mercilessly upon two sharp rocks. Hiei leaned silently against a sturdy oak, crimson orbs closing slightly as he soaked up the sun's warmth. Kuwabara, ensnaring his busted ankle, joined Kurama on the ground chewing on his tongue in a pathetic attempt to keep his screams at bay.

Yusuke drug his tired legs over to 'Hiei's' oak joining the sunbathing demon. Silently he dug for the communicator praying that they would get reception out here; for the other four times were futile.

Chocolate eyes sadly gazed at the deity that laid motionless. Kurama had still refused to tell anyone what Botan would suffer exactly, all of his descriptions were vague and rambled with incoherent meanings. One sentence haunted Yusuke, though the words them self were innocent enough. What scared him was the tone that been used, to the Spirit Detective it almost sounded cryptic, as though there was more behind it. Kurama had whispered to the slipping girl in a cryptic voice, 'Who do you love? Please let there be no one in your dreams.'

'_Why would he ask that? Why was he so hopeful that she had none?_' Having found the tiny communicator Yusuke slowly opened it praying that there would be a being on the other end- human or not.

Crimson tresses fell over glazed emerald eyes as the fox demon slowly planted a kiss on the sleeping beauty in his lap. Tears stung his eyes as he watched his silent hero fight the poison in her veins.

Guilt built within the boy as he watched another shudder overtake the girl in his lap. It was he who should be lying on the ground. He should be the one that was going through this. Not her. Not the one that was only there to heal any injuries. '_Not her, not her!!_' Tears fell from the emerald eyes as he gently hugged the blue haired girl before him.

/_A high pitch squeal echoed off of canyon walls. Botan had found her paradise. It was so beautiful, almost too beautiful to be real. Laughing she ran towards her own little heaven. _

_High canyon walls rose up encasing a large waterfall. Tall deep green grass grew wild along with flowers of many shapes and colors. Large smooth rocks stuck out over the smooth stream ahead as the water babbled slightly encouraging the girl to dip her feet in._

_More then ready to agree with the stream Botan slipped off her shoes enjoying how the cool water rushed over her feet tickling her toes as it snuck between. Tiny rocks poked at her delicate feet though it mattered none to her. A relaxing smile came over her face as she sat by the stream's edge letting her feet soak in all the water./_

The corners of Botan's face slowly pointed upwards as she purred lightly.

Kuwabara raised an eyebrow, "Looks like her dream is good so far, eh Kurama."

The red head shook negatively. One smile meant nothing, it was just the calm before the storm, a storm that could take the one person they all loved dearly. "It means nothing." He muttered to no one in particular, "Please tell me who you love. Please let it be no one."

Kuwabara, who had been inspecting his swollen ankle glanced over to his friend. Did he hear what he thought he heard or was it just his imagination.

"Success!" Yusuke's triumphant voice rang out, "Cera will be here soon. I can't believe I actually got through." Reenergized he ran to his fallen comrades. "Here that Kurama, soon we'll be far gone and Botan will be better."

"Gee thanks for worrying about me Urimeshi."

"Uh, oh yeah," Yusuke laughed scratching the back of his head, "yeah we may heal ya too. I'll have to think about that."

"Why you-" Kuwabara was cut off by the deadly look in Kurama's eye. He slapped his hands over his mouth refusing to make another sound. Something in that look told him trouble was ahead.

/_Botan stood in the middle of the stream, her pant legs officially soaked through. Laughing she fell backward into the water loving how it rushed past her ears tickling them slightly. Botan's sky blue shirt slowly became soaked._

_But Botan did not care. True it may not have been the hot bath she was looking foreward to, but it was still gently running water.But to her this was heaven; instead of bones there was soft grass, strange noises no longer filled her ears, and darkness stayed far away from the girl. Everything was exactly how she loved it, bright and cheery._

_A dark figure hiding behind a tall oak moaned as he watched the blue haired girl frolic in the water. He licked his lips watching the girl slowly soak her clothes. It slowly became harder for him to not just rush out to her. But he had to wait. Just a few more minutes longer. There was more he had to know about her. Just a few more things, then he would be ready. _

_Smiling lustfully the amber eyed figure sulked back into the shadows. Soon he would have his way. And yet another soul would be lost to him. His mouth watered in anticipation._/

Yukina screamed in horror when she first saw Botan's pallor face. She had heard that Botan was in bad shape, but she had not expected this.

Botan's skin was moist from a cold sweat; her hair plastered to her head. Her amethyst eyes- through cracked lids- stared out at space, refusing to acknowledge anything. Once rosy lips were now ice blue and cold to the touch, terrifying the poor ice maiden. It had taken both Kurama and Genkai to calm her down, explaining that it was a side effect of the poison and not because of death.

Gently she was laid upon a tiny bed cotton white sheets overtaking her. Gathering her courage again, the tiny ice maiden gathered supplies and gently pushed all of the boys- except for Kurama- out of the room.

"What is it Kurama?"

"What do you mean." Kurama played oblivious to the young girl, annoying her even more.

"Kurama," Yukina replied sharply, she was done with the innocent act, "what _poison _does Botan have in her? What's the cure?" He tried to ignore the emphasis that was put on the word poison.

Kurama shook his head, eyes pointed to he floor. "No cure, she has to ride it out. All we can do is give her medicine for her symptoms but there's no cure."

"What happens then."

Another shake of the head, Kurama was not going to tell them. No one would hear of it, he would give Botan that much decency. They did not need to hear in detail what would happen.

/_Botan slowly left the water shaking her head. Beads of water flew from her hair landing on nearby leaves, causing them to bend under the weight. Bending over she slowly began to wring out her shirt, though it was futile. She along with her clothes were soaked to the core. Shivering lightly Botan slowly walked away, forgetting to grab her shoes._/

Botan shivered on the tiny bed, causing Yukina to jump to her side.

On the other side of Botan, Kurama tried to ignore her sporadic shudders. Slowly he carefully pulled out the tiny spike from the side of her neck. Smoothly the spike slide out. As the jagged end was pulled, a weak hearted Yukina clamped her mouth shut turning crimson eyes away. Blood was a common sight for the girl, but this was too gruesome for her. Attached to the jagged end were long ripped pieces of skin. Twisted around the skin were long strands of neck muscle. Longer, thinner strands of nerve were wrapped around the muscle.

Unfazed by the sight Kurama dropped the tiny cotton candy looking spike onto a tray. Fluently he swept up a silvery green leaf pressing it to the wound. Red gushed around the leaf, spilling over and onto the teen's hand.

Botan's once peaceful face grimaced in pain as the leaf was pressed against the wound.

/_Botan moaned falling to her knees. Her neck, so much pain. Too much pain flowed through her veins. There could be no ignoring this. Tossing her head back Botan screamed shrilly causing nearby birds to take flight._/

Botan's head jerked back, mouth opened in a silent scream. Terrified crimson eyes watched as the blue haired girl fought against the medicine.

Silently the fox apologized to the sleeping girl for all the pain he caused her. Slowly he rose and left without acknowledging the other girl. He just could not, not yet. His brain was numb just like the rest of his body. All reality seemed out of reach. Kurama almost felt like the toddler reaching for the cookie jar. The one that sat atop the refrigerator. The one he would never get.

Gently he slid the thin door shut, lost in his own world. Sighing Kurama laid against the door, buring his face within the wood refusing to join the rest of the world.

"So Kurama. What the hell is going on."

The red head winced at the sharp voice behind him. He never knew that one voice could hold such venom. Silently he prayed that they truly were friends, or else he would never live to see tomorrow.

A cold sweat covered the boy as he shook his head. He would not tell. This was his burden and no one else's.

What happened next, Kurama was not sure, but all he knew was that he was facing the other way with a side splitting headache. The question was repeated again. And once again he gave the same negative answer. His head slammed against the wall causing the boy to see stars.

Chocolate glared into emerald. A finger rose as Yusuke slowly pressed itonto Kurama's chest. Bending closer he whispered his threat, "Talk or you'll be sorry."

Emerald fell their strength lost by the fierceness of chocolate. He knew that the threat was real and could only guess what would happen to him. Shudders ran down his spine as his body turned to ice.

Nodding slightly Kurama silently agreed to tell Yusuke.

x-x

Crap!! I know!! But I swear the next chapter will be a million- er…trillion- times better I swear. R&R or flame…


	5. Chapter 4

Hey out there! Sorry for the long wait between updates, hectic life! Anyways ya all can thank Kurama's Fox - Ritsu's Monkey ('k your penname is long...) for the update...she asked continually when I was goin to update...so I decided that I had better get off my lazy butt and sit on it at the computer and...write_...:sweatdrops:_ That makes no real sense...

Ok this chapter is where the warnings start to come into play. And once again here are the warnings (to quote from the first chapter)... '_Warnings- Yes there are warnings here... This story contains- torture, mental anguish (the best type), mentionings of rape I have rated this fic 'R' please honor this rating. I mean it._'

But for those of you who still want to read this fic, but hate readin this stuff :_points up to the ratings_: no need to worry, that section will be separated with two >> And you can skip it and still understand the story.

_**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed any part of my story, and to any of those out there who have read but not reviewed...please feel free to leave reviews...**_

**_Disclaimer:_** I do not own, for if I did I would be one lil rich girl.

_X-X-_

Yusuke numbly walked outside, refusing to acknowledge Kuwabara and Hiei's stupid little argument. The name 'dimwit' fell upon deaf ears as he left the temple. Such news drained him. Botan may have been annoying to him, but still no one deserved this.

Yusuke could not stand it, he had to head out to the arcade, the park, heck even school.

Just anywhere but here.

And with that he left his friends behind, to deal with the broken girl.

/_Botan walked through the rocky soil, turning in a tight circle every so often. Where had her paradise gone? Wheregrass used to be was now rocky soil. Sharp rocks cut at her feet, bloody footprints following her. The trees that used to be so full of life were now dead; their once, tall, strong arms no longer reached up for the heavens above, but now bent over touching the ground. Even the sun refused to show it's face in such a barren land._

_Fear gripped Botan's heart as she continued on, looking for her paradise. Cold bitter winds bit at her wet clothes, freezing her to the core. Desperate for warmth, Botan wrapped her arms around her, shivering roughly. Teeth clattered as rocks ripped her skin._

_Golden eyes, followed in the shadows, smirking at the terrified girl. Slowly a tall dark figure walked out from the darkness, grasping the girl's waist, ensnaring her tightly._

_Terrified Botan shrieked causing a few startled crows taking flight. Amethyst eyes closed tightly as she was whirled around. After a few minutes of feeling her head swim, Botan hesitantly cracked her eyes open, uncertain to what she would find on the other side. _

"_Kurama!" She screamed joyfully, finally someone she knew. Squirming from his grasp, Botan threw her arms around his neck, hugging him close to her. "I've missed you so much, where were you guys," Botan stopped looking around, "where are the others? And why are you in your Youko form? Did something happen?"_

_The silver haired fox bent his head down slightly, smirking slightly. His lips moved slowly though no sound came out. Curious Botan tilted her head slightly, bending her ear closer to his mouth. "What?"_

_The smirk grew stronger, "You should not worry over anyone but yourself. My sweet peony." A leg swung out behind the girl, and with one swift movement Botan was on the ground gasping for air. The silver haired Youko slunk down surprising the girl._

_Botan gasped as she pushed against the firm chest. "Get off Kurama, what are you doing? Stop kidding around, get off." Panic chocked her as gave another firm push._

_Rising his head, Botan gasped at the look in his eyes, and into the lust that drowned them. "What's wrong? Do you not like this form? I thought you liked me. How about this?"_

_Botan watched as the silver hair shortened, and slowly changed to red. Golden eyes turned emerald. His tail and ears melting into his body. Soon there before her was the gently form of Shuuichi. Everything looked as how it should, except for his eyes. Deep within Botan could still see the lust that swam around in them. "Kurama, are you ok? Did something cause you to change?"_

_Bending down 'Kurama's' lips touched against Botan's lightly. Scared Botan stiffened as she pushed him away yet again. "This form upsets you too? Would you rather have this?"_

_Botan watched as the boy's form changed again, his hair shortened even more. The red slowly dulled and faded till it was a chocolate brown. Brown eyes overtook the green ones she had just been looking into. "Keiko?" Confusion clouded Botan's mind as she stared at her friend. _

"_How about this one? Do you prefer women? You know either way is fine by me." 'Keiko' smiled as she bent down capturing Botan's lips in a kiss._

_Botan pulled a foot free kicking 'Keiko' squarely in the gut. Having the air kicked out of her 'Keiko' moaned falling to the side. Botan took this chance, rolling over she shakily stood and ran./_

Kurama dabbed a washcloth against Botan's pale skin. He watched in horror as she writhed and thrashed about as though she was trying to get away from something.

Kurama placed a gentle hand to his swollen cheek, just a few minutes ago, he had received a foot in the cheek. But he would not complain, this was his punishment for not protecting the blue haired deity.

/_Botan screamed as she tripped over a root, falling face first into the rocky soil. Moaning she rose, her arms barely able to support her weight. Blood slowly dripped from her skinned chin._/

Botan's sleeping form moaned as the skin on her chin slowly was pulled back, blood trickled from the wound.

/(notice the >>)>>_Botan screamed as she felt someone grab onto her ankles, pulling her down. Her chin connected roughly with the hard soil below as she was pulled closer to the person._

_Reaching out he grabbed Botan's waist, rolling her to the side. "Damn girl!" He muttered sharply. Botan's scream was muffled by a rough hand over her mouth. "Hush no one can hear you. You're only giving me a headache."_

_Botan tried to pull herself from the silver haired fox, her eyes pleading for him to stop but the fox was not about to listen to pleading eyes. Reaching into his hair, he pulled out a long, slender leaf slowly transforming it into a long leaf dagger. _

_Botan pushed her body into the ground, wishing to flatten herself against it. She gasped feeling the icy leaf blade lightly touch her neck._

"_Shhh, don't move or you'll get cut." Botan's mind refused to acknowledge the logic as she fought to get away from the blade. Botan's eyes widened in horror as she felt the blade slowly travel down her chest, slicing her shirt along the way._

_Fearful breaths overtook the tiny girl as she froze in fear and shame. Her cheeks blushed furiously as she felt the blade against her navel. "No..." Botan fought slamming her hands against him, any where that they decided to land. _

_But he remained immune to her slaps and punches. Drawing a hand towards her head the fox gently ran his hand through her blue locks._

_Botan closed her eyes, the energy drained from her, her lips moved constantly, tiny mummers that remained unheeded. Tears stung at her eyes as Botan fought again, feeling the icy hands around her hips. Botan cried out as she felt her pants being pulled down roughly to her ankles._

"_STOP!" Botan screamed, as she punched the side of the youko's face, she struggled to free herself from his grasp. _

"_No…no…don't touch me…" Botan knew it was useless but she still fought. _

_A lustful smirk crossed the demon's face as he kissed the deity. Botan closed her eyes, unwilling to watch the demon slowly remove his clothes. _

_Botan bit her lip as she felt the demon enter her pure body. Silent tears fell as she pushed her consciousness to another place another time. Botan closed her eyes as memories consumed her mind, offering to take her away from the torture, the torment that she was suffering.>>_

_Botan moaned as she felt the weight leave her, but her eyes remained shut. Lips pressed against hers in a bruising kiss, still her eyes remained shut. She no longer wanted to see the silver-haired Youko that defiled her body. _

"_Maybe your friends can help," Youko's sneering tone bit at her, "I think they may be here."_

_Sorrow filled amethyst stared into cold gold._

"_Try to find them, if you want." Slowly the demon turns, walking away from the broken girl. Suppressing her sobs, Botan turned to her side curling into a fetal position. She could not find the strength to move, to breathe, to live anymore./_

Kurama bent down, kissing lightly the pale forehead. Gently he lay himself beside her bed, wrapping an arm around the fragile body beside him.

X-X

So how was it:sighs: Leave a review if ya like...I should be updatin all my fics April 4th- but before then is questionable...I'll try but it's hard right now too...


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